If you don’t love yourself first, you can forget about having anything worthwhile in your life

Ask yourself this question right now….’How can I possibly give something I don’t have?’ When you look at your life you’ll find that every single area involves relationships, and what you’ll see is that if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself you can’t possibly form one with another person.
Let’s take a look at some of the key areas of your life –
• Your finances – what is your relationship like with money, are you happy with your spending, your financial outlook, your savings, and your financial security or isn’t it quite adding up for you?
• Your health – what is your relationship like with food? Are you overweight, continually yo-yo dieting, looking for the next miracle diet? Or have you a very poor relationship with food where meals are just out of control and you’re not even sure what you’re ‘supposed’ to be eating?
• Your love life – is it non-existent, boring and become routine, just a chore, or perhaps you don’t have one? Or maybe you aren’t in a relationship right now but really want a fulfilling sex life?
• Your family relationships – you don’t have time to enjoy relationships, perhaps they have become strained, you don’t even speak anymore, they cause tension, feelings of rejection, loss, pain and hurt. Sometimes you just wish they’d all go away.
• Your partner – has the relationship become boring and stale or perhaps it’s a volatile one, perhaps the love you once had has dwindled and you wonder why you’re even in the relationship at all? Perhaps that passion just needs re-igniting again?
• Your children – are you fed with ‘telling them what to do’ all the time, shouting at them, arguing, trying to shield them from pain, giving them the childhood you didn’t have or are you just worn out with being a mum, perhaps juggling a career as well?
This was me a few years ago……
• My finances were in such a mess our outgoings were greater than our income. I was out of control trying to make the next investment work, only to discover it was a miserable failure. Not thinking things through properly I made one disastrous financial decision after another.
• My health really suffered, I was diagnosed with skin cancer (so had to leave my job as a swimming coach) had a very complicated hysterectomy; all sorts of operations to discover my stomach lining was damaged and was barely able to exercise.
• The relationship with my mother deteriorated each month until it was almost non-existent. My eldest daughter and I had a very volatile relationship, which ended up with us not speaking for months on end. Things were strained between Ian and I with all the tension.
But that’s all history now as I feel in great health, love my body and look after myself, totally respect my finances, have a good relationship with money & have savings in the bank ready to buy our piece of land with, run a business I’m totally in love with, enjoy loving relationships with my mum and Charlotte and it all started with learning to love me.
Can you see how everything starts with you and you alone? If you’re not happy with an area in your life take at look at yourself…stop looking outside of you to ‘fix things’. That’s all I did, I looked at me and stopped sorting the world out.
It easier than you think as well because once you take that initial step of facing and accepting it is you that needs to change – it only needs the one focus.
I’d love to hear from you if any of this resonates with you. I’m running a 6-week course starting in a month’s time to run over the holidays to help you enjoy relationships for once and not dread seeing family and relatives. I’d love your thoughts on this and to hear your greatest struggles.