I am so devoted to helping people enjoy happy relationships, as I do believe they are AS important as the need we have for water, food and air to breathe. I am talking about relationships with our families, friends and work colleagues. Are you feeling out of sorts right now with the way things are – are you fed up with arguing with your partner, fed up resenting your mother or father, sick of trying to communicate with your child and still desperately trying to get that friend to just understand you?
This is exhausting, sad and in my book a complete waste of time…..and it’s time we don’t have much of really. Time is precious so let’s start making same changes in our lives to enjoying life instead of just existing. Here are some ideas that you can start using straight away that will build the kind of solid relationship you are craving:
- ACCEPT that person – you don’t have to like their behaviour, what they stand for or what they think but accept them as they are. Don’t criticise them, find something good in them; don’t resent them when they don’t change the way you want them to; you be the one to change and once they start to see you change the belief will develop and they will change.
I don’t agree with half the things Mum says, does or stands for BUT I have learnt to accept Mum as Mum and lead my own life in my own way.
- HELP THEM – lift them up if they are struggling down there. Remember when they continually say negative things to you they are in a worse place than you are and perhaps don’t know any other way of responding. You be the one to DO something, don’t stand there and say a stream of comments that makes them feel worse. Show them by doing rather than telling. You will get a totally different reaction from them.
Mum couldn’t hug me; she hadn’t learnt how to express emotion. I used to collect her from the airport craving for the big hug and I was greeted with her arms straight by her side with an ‘air kiss’. So I gave her the biggest bear hug and now she has learnt to greet me with open arms. She still needed that hug, she just didn’t know how.
- SMILE – you will come across better. In the early days of my healing journey with Mum I used to do this when I was on the phone to her, it softened my approach, the energy changed towards her and the smile came through and boosted her self- esteem. After all, that’s what she needed as hers was rock bottom.
- SAY the IMPORTANT stuff now – don’t wait you may not have the time. A close friend of mine is a cancer nurse and it still amazes her all the things people come out with when people are close to death. Don’t wait for that moment – tell them now.
For me, all those years ago, when I asked Mum to accept me for who I was, I didn’t get the reply I wanted but I said the words that were to be the start of my entire transformation. I needed to hear them to start my journey. I dread to think where I’d be today if I’d never said those words.
It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it….I love those words. You can do this. DO something different today. Start right now; ask yourself what you are waiting for? You make the move, you have the courage, you be bold, you be strong. If you’re struggling please don’t be alone….message, PM or book a call.
Can’t wait to hear what you’re going to do!