Rejection happens to us all and in so many ways, it hurts like physical pain. Perhaps you’re suffering right now or you can remember what feels to be so let down by someone or something important to you – a relationship, a job offer, a friendship?
But rejection from your mother can feel like a knife going into a wound as you desperately seek her assurance, her praise and her love only to be rebuffed continually time and time again.
It’s human nature to need security and once we’ve been rejected we feel abandoned, alone and completely hopeless. Rejection to some degree is part of life so we can’t avoid it but we can learn to handle it in the best way.
Once our mothers have rejected us time and time again we carry that pain with us. When we feel rejection again we see it through a ‘rejection lens’ in our eyes, which clouds our reaction. The ‘old’ pain will be evoked and stories start being created in our minds and before we know it the whole day/week is ruined by perhaps one comment/one look, simply because the hurt feelings are being relived again and again.
Is this you? Is this happening in your life right now?
So we need to recognise the problem isn’t the situation or even the pain we feel – it is simply the mind’s reaction to the situation and nothing more than that. The mind likes drama and will want to relive the stories over and over again. If we let it, we will stay in the past, reliving ‘old rejection’ from our mothers.
- Try and stay relaxed and calm and just WATCH what is happening, if you can feel the pain without attaching drama to it – it will pass.
- Society has led us to believe that we can control others and events so to avoid this pain being triggered. Unfortunately, this isn’t true so I’d like you to try and be AWARE of what rejection triggers – sadness, loneliness, and anger and simply watch those emotions unattached. It gets easier over time.
- Remember this rejection you are feeling is only your mother’s opinion and NOT yours or anyone else’s.
- Do not take this rejection personally, do not take it to heart – it is ONLY your mother’s opinion, she is rejecting you because she knows no other way of dealing with the situation.
Start building your own self-worth and you will be handle rejection much better – here are a few ideas:
- Start a gratitude diary
- Begin journaling your thoughts
- Being aware of negative thoughts
- Saying cancel/cancel to stop negativity growing
- Reminding yourself that fear is an illusion
- Determine a positive goal to work on
One of the biggest issues with the feelings of rejection is to remember that your self-worth is not determined by others opinions. This IS NOT a measure of your worthiness. Don’t take it personally!
You are worthy, you are loved, you are enough, you belong – let these words sing in your heart today and accept them! Don’t let rejection become part of your life.
Are you ready to let go of struggling with your toxic mother-daughter relationship? Have you really had enough of living this life full of rejection and disappointment? Do you want a life of peace and love? If this is you I invite you now to apply here to have a conversation with me. Click on the image below.