Are you feeling such anger with your mother, does she just make your blood boil, could you burst with frustration?
I’m all about letting go of anything negative and today I’d like to share a bit on anger.
For most of my life, I have felt some sort of anger towards my mother and it really wasn’t until I was able to truly release this anger from MYSELF that I was able to experience the freedom of living without it.
Anger used to make me feel really upset with myself, it’s a horrible feeling and a self-destructive one if the feelings are left to manifest.
Looking back over my life I will share with you a few highlighted ‘angry’ moments. The time I was sent to boarding school at 11 years old, mixed with rejection I felt huge anger towards my parents for ‘sending me away’, anger towards a close friend who betrayed me at school, anger towards my sister for destroying her life with alcohol, anger towards life as a close friend of ours passed away from cancer last year…………
But by far the greatest was the anger towards my mother, her lack of praise for me, her lack of affection, taking no interest whatsoever in my life, forever critical of my every move, the fact I never gained her approval and the fact she really didn’t love me.
But the most freeing experience is to be able to deal with whatever angers you and to let it go. Contrary to belief when we don’t want to feel a feeling we push it further down inside of us (hoping it will just go away) and guess what….. It grows, the exact opposite of what you want.
To start on the journey of releasing anger towards your mother try these tips today.
CHANGE YOUR NEGATIVE THINKING ~ in most cases we find that the anger at the current moment in time is triggering a distant memory from the past where you were really upset, which is why little things can really anger you. The important thing is not to do anything with the anger other than LOOK at it.
Try the 3-tier process, focusing on each stage until you can do it naturally.
FACE it – look at the thought, this diminishes the negative power in the thought.
SAY cancel/cancel in your head to stop the negative process continuing.
END the sentence in a positive way.
Another way is to have a positive thought in your head that you can ‘draw on’ and replace the angry thought with.
Distraction is also great, so something different, go for a walk, put the TV or music on, go out or read a book.
LET IT OUT ~ scream, shout, let it all out! Exercise, go for a walk, run, to the gym, release that emotion don’t bottle it up.
Write a letter to your mum, write every single thing you want to say to her, then go outside and burn it, watch the cinders go up in the sky along with your negative feelings.
BE WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE ~ this isn’t easy I know but it really does help to surround yourself with positive people. There is a saying that we become like the 5 people we hang out with the most (and they can be online people as well!). Perhaps you need to take a look at your friends, work colleagues, your boss etc. Do they put you down, do you feel good in their company? Remember you have a choice in all of this. It isn’t easy to make changes but at least just for today recognise your situation and understand only you can change it and YOU CAN.
SELF CARE ~ a great realisation for me, I used to spend so little time on myself and it’s had disastrous effects in a lot of ways. But the good news is it can all be turned around! I actively make choices in life that suit me, I am able to express my feelings and not bottle them up, I’m not afraid to be me anymore, I have learnt to love who I am even if others disagree. All these things definitely help so for today look at your situation and see how you can start ‘CARING FOR YOU’.
Let it go……..you will see beauty in your world, be an inspiration to others and leave so much more space in your mind for POSITIVE emotions.
I’d love to hear from you if you’re struggling with letting go of anger towards your mother.