Whilst we are on our journeys healing ourselves from our toxic mother-daughter relationships it is really important to enjoy time alone so we can learn how to love ourselves first. So the craving, the yearning, the needing and all the wanting from our mothers fades into insignificance.
So I have written this for you so you can begin to understand the importance of being happy when you are alone and you enjoy ‘your own company’.
These steps will help you in your healing process.
Many of us can’t bear the thought of being alone, maybe it’s because we don’t like being with our own thoughts, it’s boring or we just feel plain isolated.
We all feel lonely at times and that is normal, it’s when it takes over our lives and causes us to feel overwhelmed that it might present itself as a problem. If you are struggling with loneliness it might be because it’s highlighting your low self-worth, perhaps a reminder of a loss or you feel really insecure.
Are you struggling with enjoying time alone?
I used to suffer from loneliness as a new young wife married to a helicopter pilot who was away for months on end but I couldn’t change the job or the situation so I knew I had to make it work. For me, by strengthening the relationships I already had I was able to feel far more secure in myself and not NEED the constant contact with others ~ being alone was ok and something I learned to enjoy.
Dig a little deeper and ask yourself where the feelings are coming from as quite often loneliness triggers something much deeper within us and this might be very uncomfortable.
Some ideas to think about if you’re struggling with time alone:
- Try a new hobby that keeps you busy, a new sport or perhaps an art class, look for something that entertains YOU and not others.
- Change your environment, get outside and visit a NEW place, go somewhere you’ve never been before, STEP right out of that comfort zone. Surprise yourself!
- Go a step further with your current relationships, form closer bonds, nurture and expand on the relationships you have – you will develop a sense of peace and security and not feel a sense of ‘lack’ and ‘need’ to have contact with these people hence you will be able to enjoy time alone more peacefully.
- Enjoying time alone can be hugely beneficial so if you’re not finding this ASK FOR HELP, you don’t have to work it out by yourself. Just finding someone to talk to can make all the difference in the world.
“I like being alone. Not lonely, just alone”.
What is the hardest part of being alone for you?