Loneliness and Depression – Are you Doomed To Be Forever Alone?

You have overwhelming feelings of sadness, bouts of loneliness and are suffering from very low self-esteem along with aches, pains and digestive problems – life just feels like a complete struggle.
You’re not quite sure how this crept up on you; you certainly wouldn’t choose this way of life and really see no way of changing it.
Does this sound like you right now?
You’ve been feeling:

  • Lethargic – due to the very poor quality of sleep, waking often during the night, leaving you feeling exhausted and totally unmotivated to do much in the day.
  • Isolated – it’s like this feeling is your default setting and part of you, even when you spend time with others, the ‘loneliness feeling’ is still there as no one really sees you.
  • Loss of interest in previous enjoyable things – work, friends, hobbies and sex; you can’t focus on anything anymore.
  • Negative feelings – consistent feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, helplessness, guilt, frustration, anger, anxiety and panic leading you to self-loathing– you feel that everything is your fault, that no one loves you, that you are worthless and just plain wrong, all the time.
  • Your behaviour is just reckless – eating too much, drinking too much, driving dangerously along with suffering with numerous unexplained aches and pains.

You so want to feel emotionally connected to people who are important to you; you want perspective on life, to have positive thoughts, make good decisions and to feel motivated and energized.
I’ve been working with men and women for the past few years helping them to see life with a renewed vitality so they can create those deep emotional connections, they can feel worthy and appreciated, allowing them to see life with a new positive, perspective. At last, they have hope and belief that they can climb out of the black hole.
All of the feelings you are experiencing right now are often tied to childhood wounds, which is where I can help you heal emotionally, freeing you from your negative mindset and behaviours.
Through emotional healing and therapy, you will create a foundation of being able to fully love yourself enabling you to connect with those important people in your work, you will gain clarity and perspective with where your life is heading, feel revitalized and motivated to enjoy life.
So you can start right now by –

  • Accepting it as a feeling – it is impermanent and doesn’t last, accept you feel lonely then focus on moving forward. Catch your inner critic’s attempt to self-sabotage yourself with negative language and try using positive affirmations every day – ‘I am at peace when I’m on my own’, ‘I can appreciate myself for everything that I am’.
  • Disconnecting from social media – as this breeds false perceptions, take a step back from it for a while and notice how you feel.
  • Getting out of your comfort zone – Just do it! Deliberately try new things, learn a new skill or join a new class. What have you got to lose? At worst – a new experience!
  • Refocusing – loneliness creates a feeling of being separate from others so start looking at similarities in others and not the differences in others. You then won’t feel that you are ‘standing alone in the world’. Think beyond yourself so you’re not so self-focused.
  • Being brave – fight the urge to isolate and put yourself out there, make the effort to meet people in person – not the phone or email, get curious about them and you’ll never be at a loss for words. Remember silence is only awkward if you let it be.

Know that you are responsible for your reactions and how you feel and you will have to give yourself a ‘push’ to get back into the swing of life; social relationships really are fundamental to your thriving. Happiness is a state of mind, and it’s the little satisfying effects of simple pleasures that create a positive mindset so learn to celebrate these in your own unique way.
I want you to know that you can do this, know that you are a powerful human being who has more control than you realize. The key is to start small and build from there, feeling better takes time but every day there are positive choices you can make for yourself.
It will be the most rewarding valuable journey of your life. You are not alone on this journey; please feel free to reach out to me at any time, I am always happy to hear from you.