Love Yourself First Before You Love Anyone Else

This is for everyone in a relationship right now or seeking a loving relationship.
Recently I have been asked this so many times, ‘How can I love myself’ or ‘How will I know when I meet the right person’? or ‘How do I know I’m with the right person?’ I think people really do think that a romantic relationship perhaps does define them; it says who they really are.
Do you ever ask yourself these questions? Do they resonate with you?
For me, I met my husband when I was very young, 20 years old, I fell in love and it just felt ‘right’, I didn’t question it and have been married very happily for almost 28 years BUT it’s not to do with age and it hasn’t been without its challenges along the way. We all have different needs at different times in our lives. Perhaps you aren’t ready for commitment just yet? Perhaps you have a career to achieve or other commitments. Perhaps you are facing a huge challenge within your current relationship?
Also, I am not the person I was at 20 years old and certainly don’t have the body 31 years and 3 children later so how did I know I’d still be with Ian all these years later? In truth, I didn’t know; you only have to take the days ahead you have together, sometimes you grow together, sometimes you grow apart but you make it work. Yes, it can be hard but marriage can also be a lot of fun. It’s all about balance, getting the balance right inside you and with your partner. But this certainly isn’t everyone’s story.
Ian and I have had tough times when things have been really hard and you question what you’re doing together. For us, I think coping with time apart and the stresses of the kids were a huge strain.
Wherever you are in a relationship, if you are together, apart or looking for a new partner it’s always a great decision to take a step back and focus on YOU, realign that love for yourself.
It could make all the difference.
Relationships do fall apart for numerous reasons and it’s when we feel at our lowest when we need to turn the focus on us and not the relationship.
BEFORE you make a commitment to someone else look at your own emotions, feelings, and spiritual self and learn to understand and LOVE yourself first. (You can also do this within a relationship, as it will give you a greater understanding of your own needs.)You will then be in a much stronger position to take on someone else. Just because your friends are getting married or living with partners doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it’s just not the right time for you.
As you begin to love yourself you will put out the vibes for more love to come your way; you will attract the love you want to you. So work on you first and you’ll get the balance right.
Some tips on how to fall in love with you FIRST:
• Embrace the imperfections, face the pain and understand you are allowed to feel sad, in a grump and miserable sometimes.
• Practice being alone and learn to start understanding who you are, journal, meditate and just sit in the peace.
• Be grateful every day, start your gratitude diary writing 5 different things each day and watch how you start thinking with an abundant mindset.
• Be kind to others without expecting anything in return.
• Focus on the good things about you, the bits you like whilst being kind to yourself accepting all of your inadequacies as well.
• Be aware of your feelings, you can feel hate and love for yourself in one day. Once you’re aware of these emotions you can start to focus on the love. You will notice a higher vibration.
• Whatever you focus on will become your reality – keep this in mind and you will be able to see far more clearly who you are and what there is to love.
My online program is all about letting go of pain and hurt to allow the love inside of us and it’s so aptly christened this the ‘KTL Vision Experience’ – after coaching so many clients along with my own journey this is the exact process we took to enjoy love & joy leaving behind pain & hurt.
K = Knowing Yourself
T= Trusting Yourself
L = Loving Yourself
We need to learn who we are, trust that person we find then we know who we are loving – with this complete clarity we are able to love others and enjoy fulfilling relationships.
I’ve experienced the depths of despair wanting to run away from it all to the heights of pure love.
I would love to hear where you are on the love journey; we all have a story – share your struggles or your celebrations.