Relationships ….one of life’s complexities for sure.
My deepest passion in life is all about relationships, simply because I’ve spent most of my life either destroying the relationships I had or desperately trying to create relationships I’d never be able to have or even need.
This left me distraught & overwhelmed feeling completely useless, helpless, with no self-worth, little self-esteem, full of anger, resentment, despair and utter loneliness as just no one understood my situation or even really knew about it.
You might resonate with some of this or even all of the above, if so the good news is you can change it all and you’re not alone.
What I have discovered on my healing journey is what I believe to be KEY to all relationships – as children, we develop ‘emotional wounds’ if we are not loved and nurtured in a way we need to be.
As we grow into adults if we are not consciously aware of these ‘emotional wounds’ we will seek to subconsciously ‘fix’ them. Self-awareness of our patterns, wounds and programming is absolutely key, but most of us have no idea what is happening and we are certainly not taught this.
So what happens is we continually look to someone else so we can subconsciously repair our ‘emotional wounds’ – we have no self-awareness. Society teaches us that we need others to validate us, to accept us, to make us feel whole and complete so we spend our lives desperately (unknowingly) looking for this in others.
And when this need isn’t met we feel the pain just as we did when we were little girls and the closer you are to that person the more the pain rises to the surface from inside of you. Hence it’s our partners and close family members who we feel the most pain with.
This was me all over with my husband, parents and children.
So I believe the key here is to fulfil ourselves so we don’t look to others for that fulfilment and love. This isn’t what we are taught or is widely accepted but someone who is totally aware of their subconscious programming, able to fulfil their own needs will not be looking to anyone else for this as they feel whole and complete.
I believe love is two ‘whole’ people, feeling fulfilled within themselves, joining together, not looking to feel complete with the other person. There are no expectations – love is unconditional.
In this environment you can grow and learn as you have so much more to give to one another – you become a mirror.
As you heal your emotional wounds you look for someone equal to you, not someone who will either ‘complete’ you or someone you need to ‘save’ – you accept that person wholly for who they are, no need to change them, no expectation from them no need for validation.
My life has changed beyond measure through my healing journey and I do believe this is what we are all seeking.
This is why I do what I do – to meet you where you are right now. To hold your hand every step of the way – healing is tough, healing is painful, healing takes time BUT it’s the most incredible experience you will ever feel in your life.
The beauty in all of this is that regardless of your childhood, where you are in life, who you’re with in life YOU can change all of this if you’re open and willing to invest the time in yourself.
I had to do something as my train had crashed, I had reached ‘my rock bottom’ with seemingly no way out.
And I want something different for you.