Talk To Each Other and Not About Each Other

Sometimes, just sometimes, this really is THE right thing to do – what do you think? Do you feel it’s right for you to speak from the heart, but fear keeps you silent?
Are you feeling stuck, frustrated, annoyed and alone in a relationship right NOW because she just can’t talk to that person in a way you want to, the words just don’t come or you sit in silence? Why can’t you just SAY IT!? Pure frustration…….. Then you end up saying something totally different? Now, where did that come from? Then you tell everyone else BUT the person involved.
You then find misunderstandings, anger, frustrations and sadness all get compounded by the fact that you just didn’t talk. It happens all over the place from the workplace, friendships and families – so why do you let this happen?
If this is you I know where you’re coming from, I’ve been there for years, continually saying the wrong things to my mother year in year out. Nothing ever changing as I skirted around the words…….’Please love me, mum’. But I would freely tell my friends what I wanted and in the process put my mum down; I was just unable to tell my own mother what I wanted.
That was until the day came where I’d had enough of the merry-go-round and asked her point blank, ‘I’m tired of all of this, please love me for who I am’, and the turning point in my life followed ……’No, I can’t and I will never change’.
The internal evolution had started inside of me, I had to do something different now I was able to speak honestly and freely and had received my reply. No, perhaps not the one I was looking for but at least I felt freedom from years of pent-up anguish. Through pain and hard work being true to myself I was then able to speak my mind in a kind, appropriate and positive way and begin my healing process, which totally alone repaired and healed the relationship with my mother.
We all fall into habits of not communicating to people as it’s uncomfortable and hard and we just can’t admit we’re vulnerable and in pain. It’s much easier to avoid the pain or talk negatively about them to someone else. So many of us do this!
Have you had enough of holding back?
Then now is the time to just take a deep breath and talk to your mother, your boss, partner, friend or child as it will lead you to a better place. Come from a good positive place and remember not every disagreement can be resolved, but the bad feelings from the disagreement can be if you try to respect and see each other’s side.
This all takes time but take that first step and say what you want to say TO THAT person. I didn’t get the response I was looking for with my mother but it was the start of my healing journey although of course, I didn’t see this at the time.
Even if the person walks away and doesn’t reply you WILL feel better because you have done the right thing and that’s all you can do!
Are you struggling with this? I’m here to help you to have that courage & strength to say those words. You can then talk to that person today from the heart, ask yourself what you have to lose?
Can’t wait to hear from you? This is so common, I hear it EVERYDAY.